AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 WAYS

Epcot is arguably my most favorite WDW Park.  It is a massive park square footage wise, 2^nd only to Animal Kingdom.  A large part of that acreage and one of the reasons I like it so much is because of the World Showcase.  For those of you not in the know, the World Showcase is a small lake on the backside of Epcot, surrounded by 12 countries (I count the African Outpost).  Here are some quick fun facts about World Showcase that I just happen to know –

·         Morocco is the only pavilion to be sponsored by its country.  All the rest are sponsored by private companies.

·         Norway and Morocco were the only two countries added to the WS after Epcot’s original opening.

·         There were plans to add pavilions for Spain, United Arab Emirates, Venezuela, Israel, and Africa, but they never got off the drawing board.  The closest was Africa, thus the Outpost pavilion. 

·         The King of Morocco sent his personal architect to help Disney imagineers build the Moroccan pavilion.

·         The round room before you enter the China movie is acoustically perfect.  If you stand directly in the middle of the room and speak it will sound as if you are talking from all directions.  Move your position in the room and the sound will change.


·         The perimeter around the World Showcase Lagoon is 1.2 miles. 

·         The water fountain at the entrance to WS was originally filled with water from all the major rivers and bodies of water from around the world.

So the rest of this post will be about the best unofficially official thing to do in World Showcase – Drink Around the World.  This little game was an obvious thing to do when walking around the WS, every country INCLUDING THE AFRICAN OUTPOST… rookies… serves food and drinks.  What started out as an underground thing to do has readily become sanctioned by Disney.  They now sell t-shirts with every country and their respective alcoholic beverage of choice on them.  

So before I get too far ahead of myself, let me lay down some ground rules and best practices:

1.       Remember, you’re still in Walt Disney World.  There are children about.  No matter how drunk you get, it’s not cool to scream about it while standing on the temple steps for the Mexican pavilion. 

2.       While we’re talking about Mexico, the tequila bar closes promptly when the fireworks begin.  I know this from personal experience. 

3.       You MUST drink an alcoholic beverage in every country to consider yourself an ATW Champion.  If you pass a single country, including the African Outpost where they most certainly serve beer cheaters, it does not count.  Just like in baseball, if you don’t run all the bases, it’s not a home run. 

4.       Please don’t stand in the beer kiosk line for 10 minutes just to get to the front and then start deciding on what you’d like to drink… you’re killing my buzz.

5.       Eating before you start, usually a good idea. 

6.       12 beers sound too easy for you?  Good, they serve other things besides beer.  Mix it up with hard liquor, wine and champagne.  Tinkerbelle comes by the next day and dissolves your hangover, I swear…

7.       Just like you can mix up the drinks, mix up the time.  If it takes you 8 hours to go around to all 12 countries, you probably just wasted $100+ on alcohol and are just going to walk away feeling bloated and dehydrated.  Knock it out in 4 hours or less (20 minutes per country) to feel like you’re getting something done. 

That’s all I got for now.  Next post will be about stumbling/touring your way around WS and then remembering you still need to make it out to your bus.  Stay tuned.

BRAZILIANS... HANDLE WITH CARE...

Ok well lucky for Sarah, we are having some SERIOUS network issues here at work today and I really can't get anything accomplished.  So I figured I'd write something out for the blog to help pass the time.  I was sitting here at my desk and thinking what should I write about, and since people always prefer drama over happy things, I decided to write about the worst thing there is at WDW - Brazilians.

Now I'm not one to judge (kidding).  And I understand cultural differences and all that other good PC related bologna.  But seriously, they are a menace.  Where to begin...

*     Chanting - If you can't locate your Brazilian tour group, just listen for the random shouting and chanting in Portuguese.  Usually it will occur during a quiet moment of a fireworks show or an immersive scene in an attraction that you have been waiting the whole year to see again.  When in doubt, listen for the shout.

*     Brazilian Flags - This little fashion statement hasn't quite caught on here in the U.S.  But if you can't find your closest Brazilian, just look for the kid with the blazing green and yellow flag hanging off his back.  Next time you want to look like a queer-eye super hero, grab you one of these little numbers and hit the black top of Main Street USA.

*     Apparent Disregard for Common Courtesy -  "Hey, let's find us a nice spot to watch the parade/fireworks/show.  Oh there's a big empty spot right there!"  Get's you every time doesn't it?  Silly you, that huge open spot is being held down by a Brazilian.  He needs all that space for his 25 friends that are going to show up 15 minutes after the show starts.  It's your fault, you should've known they were coming... didn't you hear the chanting?

*     Pop that Personal Space Bubble -  Lastly, if you can't find your nearest Brazilian in WDW, simply turn around and find the one leaning against you in line or sitting on your foot.  And don't worry if you get so annoyed by them that you literally push them off you, they won't mind.  Apparently, random acts of violence due to someone practically wearing your clothes for you are normal in Brazil.  However, don't you dare ask one to not sit on your foot!  They'll give you the stink eye and mutter things about rude Americans in Portuguese. 

Luckily for us, these little snow birds only seem to flock to WDW during the winter months.  They are dangerous and should only be approached with the upmost caution, and a Portuguese translator. 

"It all started with a mouse" - Yeah... Well I'm starting with less.

So let me start by saying, none of what's to follow is my idea.  I am being forced in to blogging by my wife.  For whatever reason, she seems to think what I have to say about life and Disney will be entertaining for others, primarily herself, to read.  So I am sitting here scratching my head trying to figure out how those other people that blog/put their every waking thought out there on the internet come up with stuff to say...

She wanted this to be some sort of touring site with my interpretation on the best way(s) to navigate and successfully accomplish everything that needs to be done when visiting each of the Disney parks.  So I guess before I do that, let me give you some background.  First off, Hi my name is Joey, like one of those stupid stickers you see at business conventions.  Moving on.  I started going to WDW after I began dating my wife late in college.  After my first visit, I have been back at least twice a year, every year.  Once all by myself, but that's a disaster story for another post.  Most people who know me can't understand and can't imagine why someone like myself would enjoy going to WDW so much, well... I do.  Walt Disney World is about 40 square miles of fun, good food, lots of booze, golfing, and so much more.  Oh and something I feel you should know, we aren't the happy go-lucky family of 5 that strolls down Main Street USA looking up at the buildings and castle taking in the sights, walking .005 miles an hour getting in everyone's way, taking pictures with a Cannon camera in one hand and a Mickey shaped ice cream in the other like a bad Japanese tourist.  We don't visit the parks.  No, we blitzkrieg them.  Get in, have fun, get out... like a one night stand.